Ever been with a guy who is really nice, but when they get drunk they are just horrible?
I dated a guy for about 1 1/2 years. He was really good looking, really smart. He was really good fun to start with. He did go out on Fridays and get absolutely fall down drunk. He was always an angry drunk. He never hit me, but he would get totally in my face, so much that I nearly hit him once! It’s something that I just didn’t really like, but he was a nice guy and we got on sober. It was his thing on a Friday so you know, it was okay. There was one issue with this. He always wanted to come round to my place afterwards. I did not want him there as he would keep me up all night being angry about our relationship. Nothing I said was ever good enough to make him feel better when he was in that mood, so I would lock him out of my house most times after a Friday night out and tell him to go home. Sometimes he would be banging on the door. Sometimes I’d wake up to 50 missed calls on my mobile. It started to become a bit of an issue. I spoke to him about it and said how about we go out together on a Friday and don’t get really drunk. He said:
“But that’s what the weekends are for.”
Sometimes I let him in, but then he was a real pain in the butt and always wanted to talk to me even though I was sleepy. It became a real problem and becoming bigger.
The last straw was when my friend was staying over from America. My friend and I were going to bed really early because we were getting up early as we wanted to spend as much time with each other as possible. We hadn't seen each other for two years. My boyfriend had asked if he could have a key and stay over at my place and I said yeah sure that was fine, but he had to come in and be real quiet. He did not do this. He came in at 4 am absolutely drunk wanting to talk about our relationship again. He woke me up. Then got into bed and kept kicking me to wake up. I knew that this would be the kind of conversation that just goes around in circles and there’s nothing I can say to make him feel ok. Also actually at this point, things really were not ok anyway!
The situation resulted in me actually physically having to remove him from my house. I had to push him out of my bed, pack his bag and push him out of my house to get him out of my place. I’d given him plenty of warning not to ruin my evening and my last day with my friend. He said to me that his friends had said that he could do a lot better than me anyway. He then said that if he was leaving he was never coming back.
Absolutely right he was never coming back!!!
The next day I got one of those super long text messages that he used to send me every single Saturday morning saying how sorry he was. How he didn’t really remember what happened but he knew it was bad. I told him this time I wanted a couple of weeks break just to get my thoughts together.
We ended up splitting up. I found out that his Dad has stopped drinking for the same reason so I suppose this is a learned behaviour. I hope he’s doing okay now as he sincerely was a nice guy. It was just that booze that used to turn him. One thing is for sure, I was definitely better off out of the relationship!